On this page, I generally write one liners, and sometimes rants, about the antics of my dogs, along with musings and wonderings about the things that they do that are insane, and sometimes annoying, to me, but perfectly normal to them. Today, I'm going to bring those musings and mutterings to this blog, and hopefully give you a good laugh in the process... So, I'll start with 10, though between my four, there are probably 4000 things that make me go "WTF" on a regular basis.
10) They chew underwear. Why? I will never understand this. Who wants to put dirty crotch fabric in their mouths? I certainly don't. Hell, I don't even want to put clean crotch fabric in my mouth... Or any fabric at all, for that matter. It literally doesn't matter where I put them, she will find them. She even pulls them out of laundry baskets.
9) Why, when they have perfectly good beds, do they choose to sleep on the pile of clean laundry? Is this punishment for not putting it away quickly enough? If they like the underwear when its dirty, why then, can't they sleep on DIRTY clothes?
8) Why does the 15 pound dog sit next to a completely empty lap, while the 75 pound dog climbs into my lap and sits on my... well my everything. He's huge and it's uncomfortable... And (this questions my sanity) why do I never move him?
7) Why do they only lick me politely when I have no make up on? When I have a face full of freshly applied, fantastic looking make up (a rarity) it is always a disgustingly wet, chin to forehead slurp that leaves me having to reapply. Does it taste good to them? I can't imagine it does. I've gotten it in my mouth before and its gross.
6) Why is it that they can get comfortable literally anywhere? I've seen them asleep balanced on the back of the couch, hanging off my rocking chair, partially draped over my knee, with their heads stuffed between couch cushions, and a number of other odd places and positions. Maybe this isn't a why, so much as it is a how... and maybe this comes from pure jealousy rather than an actual wish to know.
5) Why do they pretend they want nothing to do with you until you're busy, and then want your full attention, like when you're trying to go to sleep, or cook dinner? I get that they want a bite of the chicken, but its MINE!!!
4) Why is it that when one of them farts, they look at me like it's entirely my fault? Especially if they happen to be curled up nose to butt and it scares them out of their sleep. Seriously. I didn't do it!
3) Why do they have automatic claim to any and all warm spots in the house? I get up to go pee and I'm instantly out a place to sit.
2) Why do I feel the need to protect my TV any and every time there is an animal on the screen?
1) The number one why I have is... Why do they love us so much? We are so imperfect, and so fucked up so often, I can't fathom how they can love us so much when we are so undeserving. They're like the proverbial Jesus... We keep fucking up and they keep loving us. This is what I wonder most about them. Especially my dogs, because I'm definitely fuck up number one of the human race... Maybe they only love me for the treats I make. ;)
Things to think about, anyway.
All My Paws.
Annie
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