The Groomer's Day Before Christmas

    I'm having one of those weeks where I have no life... Being on strict restriction so that I don't pop this munchkin out too early is clearly fucking with my sanity, but I was highly entertained by this nonsense that I came up with, and I hope you are too. Please don't take it too seriously and get pissed, it's all in fun!!!

Without FURther ado.

The Doofy Dog Blog Presents

The Groomer's Day Before Christmas

By Annie Colson

Twas the day before Christmas

And all through the shop

All the groomers were pissed off

Even mom and pop

The shears were all flying

The cilppers they buzzed

All most of them could think about

Was going home to get fuzzed

When in came a client

So crazy and loud

I thought for certain 

the receptionist would be bowed

She screamed that she needed

An appointment "right now"

The shop went silent

Not even a "bow wow"

Her dog was matted

A mess most formidable

And this client, I tell you

Was anything but biddable

"I can't get you in"

Wouldn't be the answer

Our receptionist turned,

Ever the chancer 

And asked aloud

"Can anyone fit another one in?"

All the groomers they grumbled

This was a no win

From the front of the room

I heard a small squeak

One of the owners at looked at the book

Just a peek

She saw that a dog had cancelled at one

And that dog was mine

Oh, what fun. 

The woman wanted no less than an inch

I smiled and shook my head

"just a pinch

Will be all I can leave her, for you don't brush at home"

And behind me I heard

The other groomers moan

The client was heated, angry and mad

I smiled and shook my head,

"That's too bad,

For if you would brush your precious doggy

I could do what you wanted

And this wouldn't be foggy!"

She swore and she cursed 

As she stomped out of sight

"I'll be back in an hour!"

She hollared, giving up the fight.

I shook my head as I lifted the dog

Thinking this would be something

Great for my blog

When out of nowhere I felt such a pain

I knew in a moment

The dog was insane

Into my hand he sank his teeth

And try as I might

There was no relief!

He bit to draw blood, as do so many

And this was was just evil

With snarling aplenty!

I finally removed my hand from his mouth

And realized that this day was not salvageable

It had gone all the way south.

I retired to the hospital with tears in my eyes

Already knowing that the owner

Would claim these were lies

This is a groomer's Christmas week

No matter how well we do

Things are always this bleak

So to all of you now trying to squeeze in

I say BAH HUMBUG

We can't all win!

Book your appointments earlier

Then we wouldn't have to play this game

To see who can be surlier!

For those of you clients who book Christmas right

Merry Christmas to you all

And have a fluffy, good smelling night.